NEWS FROM RISING FALLS

[first chapter:RISING FALLS NEWS]

RISING FALLS NEWS
“Because No Story is Too Trivial for Us”  ~  March 27, 2012
Larry L. Little, Editor and Publisher

RISING FALLS NEWS is Back
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Publisher Larry L. Little announced that RISING FALLS NEWS will resume publication effective March 27, 2012 and will be published on Fridays until further notice.

“I’ve heard from several people who miss their weekly news and want it back,” said Mr. Little, “and I guess I’ve begun to miss doing it, so I’ve decided to give it another shot.”

For now, weekly copies will be available for pick-up Friday mornings at McPherson’s One-Stop and the Volunteer Fire Department.

Personnel Change at Township Meeting
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township  – With the reading of last month’s minutes, township trustees learned that longtime township secretary Betty Biggs has resigned. Here is the transcript of Mrs. Biggs’s final set of minutes:

“Present were Trustees Harry Trout, Maynard T. Roof, Wanda Capps, and three residents. Three hours of arguing about everything and nothing decided about anything, as per usual. Drove home with a headache from Maynard’s cologne. What is that stuff – Yuck for Men? Another three hours of my life I’ll never get back. I quit.

Signed, Mrs. Betty Biggs”

Trustee Harry Trout, who read the minutes into the record, expressed gratitude for Mrs. Biggs’s years of service and said, “I think I speak for everyone when I say Betty will be missed.”

Trustee Wanda Capps agreed. Trustee Maynard T. Roof didn’t express an opinion one way or the other.

Trustee Wanda Capps asked if anyone wanted to discuss any old business. Nobody did. She then asked if anyone had any new business. Resident Martin “Marty” Minor of Dead Oak Road raised his hand and wanted to know if there were any laws on the books against someone standing in his front yard and yelling at cars driving by.

Trustee Maynard T. Roof asked him if he could be more specific.

Mr. Minor said that his neighbor, Ralph Nebbitts, makes a habit of standing in his front yard every day and yelling at a car as it drives by.

Mr. Roof said, “At a car? One car only?”

Mr. Minor said, “One car only. To be specific, it’s Casey Fjord he’s yelling at. Casey takes Dead Oak on his way home from school every day, and every day, old man Nebbitts is out there yelling at him to slow down.

Trustee Wanda Capps asked if the Fjord boy makes a habit of speeding.

Mr. Minor said, “He drives about as fast as anyone else who cuts through on Dead Oak. Really, I think old man Nebbitts has a bug up his a— about Casey for some reason.”

Trustee Trout said, “I know Ralph had some sort of a feud going with Casey’s father.”

Trustee Roof said, “That’s right. I remember that. When old man Nebbitts had to get his car towed out of a ditch during that big blizzard last December, he claimed Gunnar messed up the alignment or something.”

Trustee Trout said, “I wonder if that’s why Ralph’s out there yelling at Casey.”

Mr. Minor said, “I don’t know anything about that, but if there’s a law against him standing outside yelling at that kid every day, I’d sure like Constable Turley to bust him for it.”

Trustee Trout said he’d check with the township constable, Len Turley, as to whether or not there is such a law.

McPherson’s One-Stop Announces Citrus Special
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Saturday and Sunday, be sure to stock up on your lemons, limes, and oranges, as McPherson’s will be running a special citrus sale, according to Arnie McPherson.

Also, Mr. McPherson mentioned that he wishes everyone would stop complaining about gasoline prices. “We buy it as cheap as we can and we take as low of a mark-up as anyone in the county,” Mr. McPherson said, “so I wish everyone would quit b–ing about it.”

Brownie Scout News
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Brownie Troop 927 will be having a bake sale on Saturday from ten AM  until 2 PM in front of the Volunteer Fire Department unless it rains, according to troop leader Mrs. Howard (Candi) Rollings.

Mrs. Rollings suggests you arrive as early as possible, because there are only five girls in the troop this year so there won’t be very much bakery.

Constable’s Report
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Constable Len Turley issued the following citations for the week ending March 27, 2012:

Traffic citations:

Mrs. Howard Rollings, traveling forty-five mph in the school zone, cited for
speeding

Mrs. Wanda Capps, cited for failure to yield at the intersection of Main Street and County Road BB

Mr. Joe R. Fabeetz, cited for public indecency, urinating behind Rising Falls Beverage

Constable Turley reports that no progress has been made in determining the identity of the culprits who altered the sign in front of Rising Falls Elementary School by using black spray paint to change the F to a B.

“This happens near the end of almost every school year,” Constable Turley said, “and it’s usually the seniors that do it, but who did it this year, I don’t have a clue.”

Anyone with information is asked to call the Volunteer Fire Department during regular business hours.

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RISING FALLS NEWS


“Because No Story is Too Trivial for Us”  ~  April 6, 2012
Larry L. Little, Editor and Publisher

Township Trustees Meeting
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Present were trustees Maynard T. Roof, Wanda Capps, and Harry Trout, and residents Mrs. Frank (Kimberly) Grabowski, Mrs. Richard (Linda) Werble, Mrs. Len (Tina) Turley, and Ralph Nebbits.

There was no reading of the minutes, as township secretary Betty Biggs resigned the previous week.

Trustee Harry Trout suggested that, in order to have minutes of the present meeting, the issue of the new secretary should be addressed first.

“Mrs. Tina Turley was the only one who applied for the position and she is here tonight. I move that we appoint her as our new secretary so that she can begin taking the minutes right now. Any seconds?”

Wanda Capps said, “Mrs. Turley, will you be willing to attend every meeting and take comprehensive minutes?”

Tina Turley rose and said that she would.

Maynard Roof said, “Your husband is the township constable. I’m wondering if there’s any conflict of interest.”

Harry Trout said, “Well, now I hear the groans, but I guess that’s a fair question. Does anyone see a conflict of interest?”

No one seemed to think so.

Wanda Capps said, “Mrs. Turley. Can you take shorthand?”

Mrs. Turley admitted that she doesn’t know shorthand. “But,” she said, displaying an electronic device, “I have this tape recorder. That ought to do the trick.”

Harry Trout said, “If there are no further questions, do I hear a second?”

Mrs. Capps seconded the motion and it was passed unanimously. Mrs. Turley plugged in her tape recorder and turned it on.

In old business, the issue of grading County Road BB was discussed. Mrs. Capps said, “The potholes out there are big enough to swallow my PT Cruiser. What are we waiting for? I move we send the work order to Gunnar Fjord and get that mess taken care of.”

Mr. Trout seconded the motion and it passed by a vote of two to one, with Mr. Roof  opposing.

In further old business, Resident Kimberly Grabowski raised the issue of township beautification. “It’s time to get started,” she said. “Linda and I will do the work for free. Just give us the money to buy the plants and we’ll do the rest.”

Mr. Roof said, “What exactly do you want to beautify?”

Resident Linda Werble stood. “We’ve been over this before, Maynard. Quit stalling and vote.”

Mrs. Grabowski put a calming hand on Mrs. Werble’s shoulder. “As we mentioned before,” Mrs. Grabowski said, “we want to beautify that strip of weeds in front of the Fire Department and also that triangle full of weeds at the intersection of Main and Pearl.”

Mr. Roof said, “What are you going to do come July and August? Anything you plant will dry up. Then it’ll be even worse of an eyesore.”

Mrs. Grabowski said, “As we’ve explained before, we already have volunteers lined up to water the plants regularly.”

Mr. Roof mumbled something inaudible and then said, “What are you going to plant, anyway?”

Mrs. Werble sighed loudly. Mrs. Grabowski said, “As we showed in our diagrams, we plan to plant yellow and purple bulbs which will bloom early and late, and hydrangea and lobelia for summer color.”

Mrs. Werble said, “I know you’re trying to stall ’til it’s too late to plant. You did the same thing last year. I want a vote right now.”

Mrs. Capps said, “I move we grant the Township Beautification Committee the funds they’ve requested.”

Mr. Trout sighed loudly. “Second.”

Mrs. Capps said, “All in favor?”

Mrs. Capps and Mr. Trout raised their hands. Mr. Roof sighed loudly. Mrs. Grabowski and Mrs. Werble cheered.

Mr. Rood said, “Is there any other old business?”

Resident Ralph Nebbits stood. “My blinking yellow light,” he said, referring to his earlier  request for a blinking yellow caution light at the intersection of Dead Oak Road and County Road BB.

Mr. Roof said, “I move that the matter of installing a blinking yellow caution light at the intersection of Dead Oak Road and County Road BB be tabled until next week. Is there a second?”

Mr. Nebbits shouted, “I object.”

Mr. Roof said, “You can’t object. You’re not a trustee.”

Mr. Trout said, “Second.”

Mr. Roof said, “All in favor?”

All three trustees raised their hands.

Mr. Nebbits said, “What a load of b—s—t.”

Mr. Roof said, “Is there any new business?”

Resident Ralph Nebbits of Dead Oak Road complained about teenagers speeding past his house. The trustees were observed to exchange knowing glances.

“Except for the spring when it rains a lot,” said Mr. Nebbits, “those d_ed teenagers driving h_bent for leather up and down the road in front of my house raise a lot of dust and it’s a d_ed nuisance.”

Mr. Roof observed that at the present time there’s only one licensed teenager in Rising Falls. “And, as we all know, it’s Casey Fjord.”

Trustee Wanda Capps said, “We have more teenagers than that, surely.”

Mr. Roof responded, “Yeah, but Gunnar Fjord is the only parent so far who’s been willing to drive the thirty miles to the county seat so his kid could take the test.”

Mr. Trout said, “I don’t know why he bothered. That kid’s been driving farm vehicles since he was seven.”

Mr. Roof added, “Yeah, and he’s been driving Arnie McPherson’s tow truck since he was twelve.”

At this point, Mr. Nebbits said, “Can we get back on the subject? My porch swing and my garden gnome are covered with fresh dust nearly every morning and my wife can’t keep the windows clean. We have a dog. One of these days, one of these crazy teenagers _ ”

“Namely,” Mr. Roof interjected, “Casey Fjord.”

“ _ is going to hit our dog and kill it and then it’ll be too late to do anything about it.”

Trustee Wanda Capps asked Mr. Nebbits if he cared to offer a solution to the problem.

“You bet your sweet a_ I do,” said Mr.Nebbits. “I want a twenty-five mph speed limit sign, and I want Barney Fife out there every d_n day in his so-called patrol car ticketing those kids until they stop it.”

Mrs. Capps said, “Who’s Barney Fife?”

Mr. Trout said, “He means Constable Turley, and I don’t think it helps your case, Mr. Nebbits, to demean township employees.”

“Or township vehicles,” added Mr. Roof.

After further discussion, most of it repetitive, it was decided that Mr. Roof would look into obtaining a twenty-five mph speed limit sign and if he could get one, he would go ahead and have township maintenance man Ben Biggs install it.

Rising Falls Youth League
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – An organizational meeting of the 2012  Rising Falls Youth League will be held on Wednesday, April 11 at the home of Mr. Jack Bender, 35090 County Road CC, at 7:30 PM. All those interested in coaching or umpiring for the 2012 season are invited to attend.

Representatives from Cherokee Township have been invited to attend in order to discuss ways they have addressed the problems of player and parental sportsmanship and to answer questions.

The Martha Circle at Rising Falls Township Community Church
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Mrs. Vernon L. Minor invites all ladies of Rising Falls Township to join The Martha Circle.

“We’ve been meeting in the Fellowship Hall at church once a week continuously for seventy-five years,” Mrs. Minor said. “Ladies of all ages are welcome to join us at noon on Wednesdays for lunch followed by a social hour. Please bring a dish to pass.”

Constable’s Report
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – No citations were issued.

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RISING FALLS NEWS

“Because No Story is Too Trivial for Us”  ~  April 13, 2012
Larry L. Little, Editor and Publisher

Brownie Troop 927
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Brownie Troop 927 wishes to thank everyone who participated in their recent bake sale.

“We raised $31.67,” said troop leader Mrs. Howard (Candi) Rollings. “The money will be used for our upcoming Fathers’ Day project.”

Pinkie’s Diner Announces Meatball Mondays
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Pinkie Sinatra, proprietor of Pinkie’s Diner, announced that until further notice he will offer a meatball dinner special on Mondays. Diners can enjoy a heaping plateful of spaghetti and meatballs for the low price of $5.99. This includes bread and side salad.

“We hope local families will take advantage of this great special,” Pinkie said. “Because, hey. Who doesn’t love spaghetti and meatballs?”

Township Trustees Meeting
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Present were trustees Maynard T. Roof, Wanda Capps, and Harry Trout; Secretary Mrs. Len (Tina) Turley; and residents Ralph Nebbitts, Mrs. Frank (Kimberly) Grabowski, Mrs. Richard (Linda) Werble,

New Secretary Mrs. Len (Tina) Turley read the minutes of the previous meeting. There were no additions or corrections. In fact, Trustee Maynard Roof complimented Mrs. Turley for doing a fine job.

Mr. Roof then asked if there was any old business.

Mr. Ralph Nebbits of Dead Oak Road stood and said, “Who do I have to kill around here to get my speed limit sign?”

Trustee Wanda Capps said, “Ralph, Ralph, Ralph,” and remarked that Mr. Nebbitts’ question was poorly phrased. “I really feel that kind of talk is out of line, Ralph,” she added.

Trustee Harry Trout said that he had been working on the problem and was in the process of arranging for the purchase of the sign. Mr. Nebbitts seemed mollified.

In further old business, Mrs. Frank (Kimberly) Grabowski and Mrs. Richard (Linda) Werble, co-chairladies of the Rising Falls Beautification Committee, reported that they have finished the planting at the Rising Falls Volunteer Fire Department and at the triangle at Main and Pearl.

“And it really looks nice,” added Trustee Wanda Capps. “Thank you for all your hard work.”

Also, Mrs. Wanda Capps announced that the pothole on County Road BB has been filled.

Art Program Planned
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Miss Barbi Bender has announced that she will demonstrate Pet Portraiture in Pastels in the cafeteria at Rising Falls Elementary School on Saturday from 2-4 PM.

Miss Bender, who teaches second grade at the school, will be accepting commissions for private pet portraits, which can be done in various sizes – specify rectangle or oval.

Miss Bender will also be registering people for classes in pastel which she will conduct over the summer at her home on State Route 3.

Rising Falls Volunteer Fire Department to Hold Car Wash
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – The Volunteer Firefighters of Rising Falls Volunteer Fire Department will hold a car wash on Saturday and Sunday. Proceeds will be used to repair and replace worn equipment.

Rising Falls Township Youth League
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – The annual organizational meeting of the Rising Falls Youth League was held at the home of Jack Bender.

“We had a good turnout,” Mr. Bender said, “and we look forward to another great baseball season. I especially want to thank the folks from Cherokee Township Youth League for coming. They gave us a lot of great suggestions for promoting good sportsmanship in our league.”

Mr. Bender added that a meeting of the Rising Falls Township Youth League Board will be held this week to finalize rules and regulations for this season and copies will be distributed at sign-up.

Constable’s Report
by Larry L. Little

Rising Falls Township – Constable Len Turley issued the following citations for the week ending April 13 , 2012:

Citations:

Ralph Nebbitts, cited for open burning without a permit

Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,

As many know, the Thursday Ladies’ Bridge Club has been meeting at eleven A. M. on Thursdays in Fellowship Hall at Rising Falls Church for many decades. We play a set, break for lunch, and then play several more sets.

Several Thursdays ago, imagine our surprise when a group of retired gentlemen of this township walked into Fellowship Hall, dragged several tables to the far end of the hall, and proceeded to play Pinochle. Some of them even helped themselves to our Sweet ‘n Low before we realized what was happening, and two of them smoked cigars.

When questioned, they said that they’ve been holding their game on Thursdays at Rising Falls Volunteer Fire Department for several years, but that they recently decided to move to Fellowship Hall at the church because they thought it would be more “convenient.”

We think it’s fine that they enjoy getting together and playing Pinochle, but we don’t want them to do it when we’re there. They’re boisterous, and we object to their smoke, and they’ve continued to help themselves to our Sweet ‘n Low even after we explained that it is private stock. Some of them seem to think it’s funny.

If they have to play Pinochle in Fellowship Hall, we feel they ought to choose another day. Thursday, as I said, has been our day for many decades. We regret having to air this matter in public, but we’ve brought this matter to the attention of Reverend Pitts, and so far nothing has been done about it.

Thank you,

Mrs. Vernon L. Minor

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2 Responses to NEWS FROM RISING FALLS

  1. Robin says:

    Funny stuff. Looking forward to more news tidbits from Rising Falls!